“When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something. We might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality. ” ― Pema Chödrön
But, the particulars of this shifting sand aren’t really the point of me telling you this story. It is about how intensely alone I feel at these moments. And, the reality that it is somewhat self-inflicted. You see, this shaky tenderness is where I feel most frightened, vulnerable. A spot where I have an excess of feeling and few answers. It is a place where my analytical, problem solving mind has no facts from which to derive an appropriate solution. It is even a struggle to describe the nature of the problem itself. Words fail me. In essence, my IQ is of little use and my EQ is unprepared, a weak muscle unaccustomed to exercise. And so, I’m left in a battle with myself mostly unarmed. (more…)
