Getting in Shape for Poly

Use your outside voice
She encouraged softly
Be bold, expressive
Become intimate with desire
Walk the line 

Who are you waiting for?
Every moment’s new
Now’s your chance
Don’t hold back

Live out loud

I’ve found this easy to say, but hard in the living… Living out loud is exhausting. It draws on an astounding range of the resources we bring to this life. On most days, it requires a constant push. And, on a precious few glorious days, there’s a pull that draws me effortlessly along. Work is typically required.

Do you have the energy to be poly?  Is there enough of you to share more broadly?  Everyone should routinely ask themselves similar questions, when beginning poly and/or when entering new relationships.  I take a very simple (and probably common) approach to answering them by thinking about the different and limited levels of resources people have that are needed to manage the daily acts of living. When we engage in challenging and engaging activities, we often find our resources consistently drained in one area or another.  These depleted states limit our capacity to regulate our emotions and effectively apply our intelligence, our compassion, and our skills when needed.  Choosing a demanding life, a soulful life, or even a poly life requires building and maintaining the resources and energy needed, if you want to live it well. (more…)